admin – Dopamine Media

Perfectly “flawed” perfection

admin — Sun, 19 Mar 2017 10:59:46 +0000

The journey from a timid, highly vulnerable individual to a confident girl

With Sparkling cheeks that night, along with some high-end dramatic eyes, a beautiful posture and a fabulous pair of heels, I remember I was leaving for an ostentatious evening out with friends when I just stopped for a second or two.

Maybe those two seconds were enough to run some shivers down my spine.

From a timid, highly vulnerable individual to a confident girl that I was now, I would say the journey has been long. I reminisce those days when I used to feel that the universe and all components of it were against me.

My complexion is brown in a fairly average-fairish society. My hair has been rough and untamed curly. And all around me were some beautiful long luscious locks stealing away all the hearts and attention.

I was average-looking back then. I am average-looking even now. But I can tell you how these four years in college have changed me. And this change hasn’t been as outward as it was within.

Back in my early college days, when I was merely a fresher, a sudden reality happened to dawn on me just like lightning that would strike someone and flip my life forever. Do I need to stand in front of the mirror and cry? Or be hesitant to wear a red lipstick just because, well, fair people can carry it off effortlessly?I must confess now; I look smoking hot when I put a red lipstick on.

I have been running away from my realities.

From my fears. From my imperfections, which now, don’t even seem to be one.

I struggled finding my individuality for the sole reason that I was different and, I guess ,that was how I was meant to be. Nobody can accept you till you do it for yourself first. Once I got my closure, there hasn’t been any stopping since then. I dress like a million bucks at parties, I put on makeup like a pro, I slip into my favorite 6 inch stilettos as if I just stepped on a feather and I laugh!

Laugh my heart out. Because, why not! I’ve come in terms with who I am and whosoever might be reading this, I’m telling you at 3:51 AM, that life is hard already, don’t make it harder by not accepting yourself. You’re your own muse and let no one ever bring you down.

You find your fears, touch them, feel them and then like a confident child, flush it off the pot. The next time you look into the mirror of your mind, heart or soul, you look for yourself and not for that manifestation of the society around you, which you have accepted it since years long.

“Be your very own perfection honey, fall in love, with you.”

6 Confessions of a small-town girl

admin — Fri, 17 Mar 2017 13:51:19 +0000

Confessions of a smalltown girl

After school, college is the time you take that first step towards your dream in a world of several unknowns, in a world where you don’t know anyone, and you’re all by yourself. Coming from a well-disciplined family where I polished my shoes a night before going to school to entering the world where polished shoes were considered uncool, I had taken a huge leap of sorts.

I grew up in a small town of Hardoi, and Delhi was nothing short of a culture shock to me. Not that I came from some back-of-the-beyond village, and yet I have to confess that there were way too many gaps that reminded me of my ‘backwardness’.

Here is a list of seven such confessions of mine when I have felt rather ‘misfit’ in Delhi.

1. How the glittery iPhones overshadowed me:

Steve Jobs invented the iPhone as a symbol of status. Little did he know how out-of-place someone would feel with a standard phone in their hand, hanging out with a crowd which almost always discussed the latest iPhone.

Or maybe he did. That’s why the tagline – If you don’t have an iPhone, you don’t have an iPhone.

This is not a tagline, but a punch in the pit of my stomach, especially when everyone is showing off their glittery iPhones with blingy back covers and I am busy hiding your middle-class phone. My model? Pa-no-drama. The phone that can pan, and has some ram too.

2. Mac Lipsticks and the branded products:

A small town girl can speak at length about any topic. She can give you great advice on relationships et al. and can prepare an essay on respecting the world in general despite all its diversities and conflicts within a snap of a finger. But talk to her about Mac lipsticks, and she’s going dumb. She doesn’t know the difference between a Ruby and a Red.

Ditto with me.

My friends are discussing the sort of eyeliners that look good on upturned eyes, downturned eyes, almond eyes, and monolith eyes and I am wondering what that means. Didn’t eyes remain either black or brown till now?

It leaves me feeling desperate to contribute to the conversation, but I always fall short of words.

3. Night outs? What are they?

A small town girl has never danced in a club. She has never been on a road trip without her parents. Therefore, when my friends from the metropolis are discussing their experiences of going wild, I just listen. And smile.

Growing up in a small town meant asking parents for permission for every decision big and small. It always took a few days of rehearsal. In fact, to get the permission, I needed to take a master class from my experienced friends before pitching the story to my parents.

4. Fewer experiences to share about life

I don’t have crazy ‘bhand’ stories from my schooldays, or memories of the times when I sneaked out of the house to attend a party. That’s because I never did. My life was relatively simple and uneventful.

Adventure for me was going to tuitions after school where I’d get to hang out with guys of different schools and sometimes eat momos. Prank calls to random guys on my phone-book and chatting with my crush on Facebook when my best friend stayed over for a night were the highlights of the adventure in my school life.

5. “Ahem, I don’t drink or smoke.”

I don’t yet understand the world where smoking and drinking is readily accepted and is a part of day-to-day life. I am staying firm on my decision of staying a teetotaller and consistently keep saying ‘no’ whenever I am asked to drink or smoke. Not because I am not ready yet. But probably because I have been trained to think that this is a road to hell constantly.

However, I wouldn’t deny that it’s not easy to keep up with this choice and the fear of being left out pushes you further to down the hill.

6. The Big Bad World

It is quite difficult for me to settle in a new world. I often feel left out and haven’t been able to find like-minded people. If I do manage to find people who think like me, I fear that I wouldn’t be able to step out of my comfort zone or experience new things.

And these questions that haunt me will probably resonate with any small town girl. ‘Is it okay to enjoy the change? Is it alright to think that freedom is fun? Will Mummy Daddy be okay with it?’

Well, I will let the time decide for myself.

– Shriya Sharma

Behind the walls of female living spaces

admin — Wed, 15 Mar 2017 13:39:32 +0000

The Inside Out: This trailer revels the real truth behind the walls of a girl’s pg

Usually, we do not get to see the reality of mordern female living spaces in Indian TV shows and movies. What’s shown is far from reality but this web-series trailer reflects how modern Indian woman live and survive the three most crucial years of their life, independently. From roommate fights to partying all night- this trailer took me back to my memory lane and made me cherish each moment.

PG’s are most colourably mysterious phase of every girl’s life. It is that place where you develop life cherishing bonds over the malfunctioned inductions and build worst of the fights over washroom clashes. The moral lectures comes in practice and a self developing and propagating “insomnia syndrome”, which is neither created nor instigated, gets into you and teaches “no sleep weekly survivals”. The life takes a sudden massive turn and your outlook and purview to every aspect changes.

I remember feeling a sudden rush of people and new faces in my life with their unending stories, opinions, thoughts, views, boasts, advice, traumas, and dogmas going hand in hand with an endless list of emotional diversity. Being an introvert, entering into pg life seemed like a nightmare to me. I was afraid of talking to new people and accepting their trends. It’s the same difference what you feel being in a family get together, and friends hang out. Slowly and steadily, moving ahead, listening to people, taking their advice, smiling at everyone and being completely isolated inside the opening days passed and there then, lies the surprise package. Every moment here is a survival lesson; it’s then when we start learning to be independent.

The fun elements that come with the welcome air of pg is a blow of insomnia, which nobody instigates or provokes but it is prominent. The late night chats, conversations, and overnight antakshari sessions are the most popular lifestyle part of pgs.

There were days when everyone would be busy with work, life and relationships and then there were days when everyone would chatter non-stop and share gossips and problems, supported by never ending cups of coffee and tea. Maggie was everyone’s favorite snack accompanied by group sutta sessions and the best use of cameras.

There is no moment when the pics are not clicked. From the worst made dish to special dress up for selfie at 12 in night, everything is captured and updated. There is a pg group named as any random thing and where the talks flow without making sense. From fighting over a t-shirt to sleeping together is the life that I explored inside pg.

The pg life is one survival guide that makes you ready to confront any situation in life. Else than the moral aspect of life, without actually experiencing we embraced the stories of everyone’s hook-ups, changing boyfriends, teaser chats, moody break-ups and the unending rants and abuses post breakup which even explored the sadistic sides when we go for break up parties.

No matter what happens, it’s a place where you grow together, stay together, learn together and where it doesn’t matter whether you are 17 or 32, what you are people accept you and love you. The heartfelt posters of “we are family” and the overnight birthday celebrations with dim lights and loud music, savoring the exotic feel with the booze and dancing, its possible only in the one place that is PG. It is the place where the loudest day bitches are most soft night maidens. In each corner of hall and room, overnight conversations to boyfriends in the mildest tones possible and then sharing the known smiles is a watchable site. The conflict of emotions also arises at a certain point when someone is pleased, and the other is pondering over the past week’s mistakes in depression.

While somewhere the water is calm, in another place in the very same ocean, there is a huge storm.

I eventually learned to balance the pace of my life living in pg and got the most heart-felt explanations to the doubts that nobody can answer. The doubts regarding hormone rush, sex life, making out, stopping at the right moment and how to initiate and how to keep the pace going. The most important lessons of caring, sharing, bitching, balancing, forgiving, loving and moving on are what a pg gives. The once unknown faces are now the strength that empowers everyone in that place to become better and confident. Everyone loves everyone, even in loathes and fights, even in bitching and ignoring. The one lesson that changes the meaning and views towards the life is PG; the second home.

“WE LOVE EACH OTHER BECAUSE WE ARE BORN AT THE SAME SOURCE WITH THE SAME JOYS AND SAME FEARS.”

– Shreya Shukla

A peek into the mind of a non-smoker

admin — Mon, 13 Mar 2017 12:33:40 +0000

The Secret World Behind The Kirana Store Next To College

As we enter this new world of college, we see and meet a lot of different people. A lot of us enter this world of total independence as innocent protected kids and we leave as informed, independent and opinionated adults. We see around us people with varied habits and idiosyncrasies, some of which we take up and some we don’t.

Let’s not deny that we’ve all been in a place where we’ve judged others for their smoking habits and we’ve all had our practical well-researched explanations for it. We’ve all had wars inside our head, whether to take that first drag or drop it. Some of us went ahead with it never to return and some of us didn’t.

Here’s a sneak peek at the time when we first discovered a little but a very popular Kirana store next to our college and its importance in our lives:

After every lecture was over, majority of the seats got empty, I stayed in class wondering where would everyone go as soon as the class ends. I knew there was a place called “Nest Square Lane” which was very famous for its stalls where all sort of vegetarian and non-vegetarian food was available at reasonable prices but what was the need to go there every now and then?

One thing which always hit my mind was why after every lecture students had a peculiar urge to go there and that too on a daily basis? Why wouldn’t they eat in the college canteen? The food available in canteen didn’t taste so bad in fact it tasted really good!

One day I decided to go to the Nest Square Lane with a bunch of other friends that I hardly hung out with but I didn’t want us to be left out.

There were a number of stalls on the either side of the road, filled with students all around. As I entered the left lane the whole view was so disparate, my speed slowed down with every step and the air was so hard to breathe in. Now, I knew what was happening. I knew exactly why everyone would come here and understood the undying urge that brought them here.

A man with the beard came to one of my friends with a tray. She took one cigarette and a lighter from his hand. She burned it and gave the lighter back. Later, she offered me a drag which I profusely said no to. While I was minutely observing everything around me, I am not afraid to say that I was totally judging all of them BADLY.

But obviously I was trying hard to ‘fit in’ and so I didn’t want anyone to know how judgmental I was being inside my head. The air around me was choking me but I still didn’t complain about my discomfort as I was the only one in the group who didn’t smoke and who couldn’t tolerate the smell of smoke. I was also not ready with my facts and research to debate about this as this was my very first encounter with this culture of smoking. As I looked around, I found more students of the class smoking and I could not believe it. I never expected to see my potential crush or the girl I really admired or the innocent nerdy guy of my class who would just mind his own business. All of them were smoking!

My friends soon finished the smoke and threw filter down and smashed it with their shoes and there I saw hundreds of filters lying on the ground.

After going back to my room, I opened my laptop and started my research. From studying the number of deaths, the different types of cancers one could get through smoking, the science behind nicotine addiction to motivational articles on why I should not choose to take that first drag, I grasped whatever information possible.

I wouldn’t deny that even though I was disgusted with the condition of my classmates and even though smoking was one of the worst habits one could take up, I was scared to miss out on some of great moments of my college life that would happen over smoke breaks- The chai and The Sutta.

Do I need a pile of smokes to deal with my heartbreaks, the career stress, tough exams or family problems? Or can I handle my stress all alone with strength and self-control?

It’s choice that each one of us has to make.

9 girls tell us secrets that they have forever kept from their parents

admin — Sun, 12 Mar 2017 11:25:28 +0000

9 girls tell us secrets that they have forever kept from their parents

‘No! I can’t tell them’

Every face has a number of stories to tell and a number of secrets to reveal. But the side that our parents get to know about is naïve and we play a never ending game of hide and seek with them.

Most girls ace at the art of manipulating a story. Why are we so hesitant and tight-lipped about these things when it comes to our parents? 9 girls reveal their secrets to Swadha Mishra, the secrets that they would never be able to tell their parents.

1. “I can’t tell them I am depressed. They’ll get hurt.”

Aditi was a child whose wish was her mum and dad’s command. She always came across as a happy-go-lucky girl till a bad relationship changed everything. Aditi was hurt both physically and emotionally by her ex.

2. “My life is as grey as smoke. I can’t face my father so I don’t tell him.”

We all fall for bad habits and are influenced by others around us at some point or the other. Mansi is still in her sweet sixteen and feels trapped by her addiction to smoking. Although her dad is a smoker, yet she can never be open about this habit with him. She fears that if her parents come to know, she will be kicked out of the house.

3. “Mummy ordered me to be a virgin till marriage.”

There comes an awkward time in your life when your mother or your elder sister will provide their own version of ‘sex education’ which is actually synonym to ‘no sex before marriage’ policy and hence avoiding the need for precautions.

Sex is considered a taboo before marriage and Ashima was told the same. She, however, thought otherwise and decided that all is fair in love and hence doesn’t regret it. For her, telling her parents about sex equals losing their trust forever.

4. “They think I am working for a magazine.”

Richa’s parents thought that she was working for a magazine but the truth is a little harder to accept. This money funds her brother’s education, their monthly rent and is now playing a significant role in putting together a decent wedding for her sister. Whenever she gets a call from home she closes her eyes and tells them as many lies as possible. She fears that her parents will die if they listen to the truth.

5. “It was casual for me but not for them.”

Some parents either play the role of a teacher or a guardian but often forget to be your friend. According to Ankita, her parents feel that their kids can survive on lots of pocket money but no attention and this is where they go wrong.

6. “I have a multi-storey house so they couldn’t catch me making out.”

Then we also have parents who know everything but prefer to remain silent. Maybe they have barriers similar to ours. Tanvi’s parents knew about her boyfriend and they were cool with the idea.

They obviously knew some romance was cooking upstairs but never spoke about this openly.

7. “He turned out to be my cousin but he was hot!”

Many of us have randomly made out with people without caring to know who they are, especially during the times when we had no control over our hormones. But Rashi laid her finger on a guy who turned out to be her cousin.

8. “I left him for my parents.”

Inter-religion marriages are a strict no no in the Indian society. Many of us had to leave the love of our lives simply because we didn’t have the guts to stand up to our parents. It’s sad that even though we have progressed so much, some of our parents still hold on to the orthodox thinking. Swati too had to leave her boyfriend for her parents would have never agreed to their togetherness.

9. “I do it cuz it gives me pleasure.”

Nishtha is single, thanks to something that keeps her life nooky. Many of us have tried it once in awhile and we can’t deny that it’s good experience!

Disclaimer: The names of the girls have been changed to protect their privacy.

-Swadha Mishra